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I Need a Big Fast Forward Button

July 24, 2010

Helplessness is one of the worst feelings in the world. Seeing someone you love in pain and not being able to do a thing to make it better is excruciating. You try to be logical and remind yourself that there are certain things that are beyond your control, and this is one of them, but it doesn’t help. If you could take their pain upon yourself you would. You would make a deal with the devil, give everything you have for a big fast forward button. But, no matter how hard you wish, there is still no such thing as a time machine, and no amount of bargaining will make it all go away.
So, you try to be strong, while you hold back tears, and somehow find words of reassurance to offer. You’re there when you can be, for support and companionship and distraction. And when you can’t, you call on the phone and send e-mails and messages. You hold on to hope that things will get better, because they have to. This feeling will go away eventually, and G-d willing, so will the pain. Until then, you just take it one day at a time, because that’s all you can do.

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